As if on cue

Cody checked. The orders are not canceled, the EPR is not filed. They can't make him deploy if he doesn't want to do so because he doesn't have enough time left in the service to carry out the deployment. So if we're going to decide, we'd have to decide now.

We've decided. We talked tonight and it made me physically ill to think about him staying in. He's been so much happier just thinking about not being in the Air Force anymore. I've started losing weight again. I've been dieting with him and exercising with him to encourage him and all I've done is gain 20 lbs since April. Eww I tell you. EWW. Susan keeps telling me it's from stress and I believe her.

So we're not stressed and the weight is already coming off. I feel like I can breathe again. We're making plans. We're talking joyfully about our futures for the first time in a long time. Cody doesn't come home from work crabby and wanting a scotch. We laugh a little freer now.

I'm disappointed because the thought of living in England and being there when friends were there is so appealing. Is it appealing enough to stay in for another 12 years? No. Frankly it's not. I'll miss my Susan, but I have to look out for mine and Cody's happiness and well being first. The military no longer provides that and hopefully we can find it once he's civilian.